There is more to me than meets the eye. Several months ago I decided to take a Meyers-Briggs personality test and discovered that I was an INFJ. As a skeptic, I read the results while inwardly thinking that this was likely some gimmick intended to provide unnecessary labels. However, as I continued to read the strengths, weaknesses, and various characteristics I became almost uncomfortably aware that each of these hit entirely too close to home.

INFJ’s are extremely self-aware and there was a resonating and liberating feeling in knowing that my personal oddities were normal, at least for me. I tend to overanalyze everything. I enjoy interaction with others, but on my own terms and with recovery in isolation needed afterwards. All this introspection and self-awareness creates caverns and tunnels within that are imperceptible to others and leads to quite the diverse range of emotions day-to-day. While others may see a subdued introvert, it is quite possible that we (INFJ’s) feel like a starship captain taking charge. Conversely, friends may see a content and stable person who is actually coming apart at the seams internally.

Yes, I’m a paradox of a man. Easy going, yet riddled with anxiety. Portraying strength and composure in the midst of weakness and inner turmoil. Craving depth and substance while struggling with vanity. Most people will never get a glimpse inside my comedy, tragedy, or the points in between, but the few who do may be shocked, offended, and delighted all at once. I’m a philosopher at heart and a sucker for a good turn of phrase. Desiring so deeply to be understood and letting so few close enough to see who I am.

The aphorism “know thyself” may seem simple, but it is nonetheless profound.  Knowing myself comes easily for me. It’s letting others know me that proves difficult. It turns out my introversion is just a cloaking device for my extroversion. It allows me to go undetected and emerge when I’m ready to make first contact. And so if you can see me in my invisibility, then chances are you’re invisible too.

You can learn more about how Calvinist Picard began on Episode 1 of Captain’s Log.

 

You can also take a look at the Q&A with TheologyMix.